MFT3 News and Updates

It’s been quite a busy year so far for us here at MFT3. Like the Spring season, things around here are blooming and growing. In everything, change is constant.

First, we have Trademarked our name: Marriage & Family Therapy of Trumbull™! Now, when clients are looking for therapy and counseling services in the greater Trumbull area, they can rest assured that they are finding the respected and established name that they have come to know and trust.

Second, all of the MFT3 staff is now accepting Husky A and B insurance! We believe that everyone deserves access to high quality mental health care and by accepting the CTBHP insurance and we have proven our commitment to that belief through this action.

Mr. Charles P. LeMieux, III, LMFT

Mr. Charles P. LeMieux, III, LMFT

Third, we would like to welcome our latest Associate to MFT3, Mr. Charles P. LeMieux, III, LMFT. With a results-oriented perspective, Charles invites his clients to identify and move toward their goals, one step at a time. He has used Client-Directed Outcome-Informed (CDOI) therapy models for 10 years to achieve success. Using ongoing feedback from his clients, Charles creates dynamic partnerships to achieve positive outcomes. With unfailing respect for his clients’ values and beliefs, he encourages a sense of spirituality to assist in the healing process and to bring wholeness and harmony to life.

Charles has his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Fairfield University, and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Connecticut. Charles has an undergraduate degree from Harvard College.

Charles is a clinical fellow of AAMFT. He has extensive experience with improving communication and increasing understanding among family members. Among his specialties are treating and managing depression, anxiety, anger, stress, trauma, and addiction issues. He facilitates personal growth within his clients, helping them to explore and nourish their unique creativity and interests so they can feel better about themselves and the world around them.

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The Freedom of Letting Go

I have been struggling with this post for some time. I have come to a place of peace and resolve by truly letting go of a wrong that has been done to me and in so doing, I have found amazing freedom and joy.

Disbelief

Disbelief of Betrayal

Back in October 2012 I inadvertently discovered that a former colleague had been stealing my company name. They had been using it on their own website – on every page of their website – to steer business away from my company to theirs.

I remember barely being able to breathe, the impact and the magnitude of the betrayal was so great, so deep, the room became blurry, dark, tunnel-vision took over. That was quickly followed by rage and indignation in equal measures. I was hurt. I was bewildered. I was deeply wounded. And I was mad.

There was disbelief. Why me? Who would really do this to me? There was doubt. Am I not as generous and thoughtful a person as I strive to be? Did I miss something? This company is like a baby to me, my most precious creation – how could I have let someone harm it so? And there was pain in the shame of wanting this person to pay, to feel as much suffering as I was feeling. Shame over not being able to swim out of the indignant place I was in.

There were calls and letters to attorneys. There was documentation and presentations and cataloguing. But the end result was the same. Two facts never varied. This had happened and I could not afford to pay the attorney fees to pursue this in a court of law.

MFT3 Mobile

MFT3 Mobile

Thankfully, then there was a moment when, at the right time and from the right person, sanity was restored. Belief was touched and nudged in just the right way for it to gain a new foothold. My belief returned. For I believe in abundance, that there is enough for all of us, and that by focusing on the wrong, the pain, I was keeping myself in that painful place. But by shifting my view ever so slightly, my life became mine again. I believe that the universe seeks balance and that it will take care of itself, it is not my place to say when, where or how balance will be restored, but it is my place to allow myself to let go and to choose my perspective.

I choose now to see this experience as flattery. Someone admired what I had created so much that they wanted it for themselves. I choose to hold my head high and remind myself that indeed, I am as generous, forgiving and kind as I think that I am. I have an amazing life full of gifts and bounty and I am deeply grateful every day for the opportunity to do what I love so much with people I love, admire and respect.

Bad things sometimes happen to good people. I soothe clients through this phenomenon week in and week out and now I have soothed myself as well. Letting go is the key.

I have 2 things in my office that keep me balanced. One is a beautiful glass mobile, my symbol for family systems, relationships and connection, maybe even the universe. The other is a quote I keep nearby which simply states, “That which you focus upon expands”. I choose to focus on love, bounty and joy.

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It’s Almost Here!

It’s almost here!

2013 Annual Conference

Our CTAMFT 2013 Annual Conference is April 25-26.

Following a year of engaging our neighboring divisions in discussion about collaborating for growth opportunities, the Rhode Island division has elected to join us in hosting an expanded conference offering.

Our upcoming conference will encompass two days and feature multiple popular presenters including: Dr. Kenneth Hardy, Dr. Eliana Gil and Charlette Mukulka. Nelba Marquéz-Greene will speak as well.

There will be new social and networking opportunities (hey Students and LCSWs – we mean you too!) along with special discounted room rates ($149!) from the Mystic Marriott to enhance your visit and encourage overnight stays - but they will sell out so make your reservations now.

We are offering multiple ticketing options to accommodate various needs – even 50% off 2013 Annual Conference Non-Profit Registration for groups of 4 or more from agencies or non-profits.

And for those of you who were lucky enough to attend last year’s amazing Conference, this year is going to be even better!

gonmm_phototour82.jpg

As always, more detailed information can be found on the CTAMFT website at ctamft.org, or you can e-mail Wendy at manager@ctamft.org.

We really hope to see you there!!

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Caregiver Support

Caregiving

Caregiving

This weekend’s New York Times had a lovely blog post about the stresses and even trauma that caregivers can suffer.

We are so proud to have Audrey at MFT3 who specializes in just this type of therapy.

If you or someone you know is a caregiver for someone who is ill, disabled, struggling with dementia or Alzheimer’s or otherwise incapacitated, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.

We’re here to help.

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MFT3 is 4!

4 Years

4 Years

MFT3 is proud to celebrate 4 years of service this February 17, 2013.

It has been our honor to be so welcomed into the Trumbull/Monroe community with such overwhelming enthusiasm. We strive daily to meet your needs, to provide support through difficult times. We are grateful for your continued confidence in us.

This past year handed us challenges nobody could have imagined and we continue to grieve, with you, over the tragedy in Newtown.

Please join us in celebrating the past 4 years, and here’s to 4 more!

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The week of February 11-15, 2013

Reactions to Nemo

Reactions to Nemo (via RobTornoe.com)

Well, winter storm Nemo has surely left its mark on our area.

We hope that everyone is safe and sound. Please call your individual therapist to make sure that they are in fact able to get to the office.

As of noon Sunday, Katherine’s home street has not seen a plow yet and her 8-inch clearance snowblower, while amazingly valiant in its efforts, has only cleared 60% of half the driveway.

As of noon Sunday, Katherine is canceling all of her Monday (2/11) appointments.

As of 6pm Monday Katherine is still snowed in – no plows yet – so she is canceling all of her Tuesday (2/12) appointments.

Please, keep in touch.

Katherine – 203-416-6008 x602   e-mail Katherine
Audrey – 203-416-6008 x604   e-mail Audrey
Lisa – 203-416-6008 x605   e-mail Lisa

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More Inspiration

It’s been an inspiring week! In this video about entrepreneurship, it is also about perspective. Keeping a positive and hopeful perspective in the face of nay-sayers and closed doors is tough – but worth it. Enjoy!

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Pep Talk Time

Kid President is my new most-est favorite-est motivational speaker ever. Enjoy!!

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My Hopes and My Fear

The tragedy in Newtown is a tragedy in every town. My hope is that we as a country can remember that. My fear is that so many have already forgotten.

Here, in Trumbull, a mere 8-9 miles separate us from Newtown and Sandy Hook. But the tragedy is here right in our faces, too. Here’s a rundown of what things have been like from my perspective:

Monday

  • One client came in with a child who is barely able to function.
  • Received many calls from other professionals, looking if I/we can take more clients or if I can recommend referrals for people affected by the shooting.
  • Go get lunch – the funeral home up the street has extreme security around it, a funeral today for one of the boys, James Mattioli.
  • And then I come back to an email from our CTAMFT president: the 6 year old daughter of one of the past CTAMFT board members, Nelba Marquez-Greene, whom I know and admire, was one of the victims. Her daughter Ana is gone.
  • Another client has had Anderson Cooper in her yard for 2 days, educators are working with all of their strength to guide their classrooms through this crisis with staggering aplomb. Clients with recent losses have had their scars ripped open, they are struggling under the weight of the tragedy.

Tuesday:

  • One client is closing their office so all employees can attend Victoria Soto’s wake, just across town.
  • The school Psychologist, Mary Sherlach’s services backed up the Merritt so badly that clients were late – nobody minded though.
  • Clients who are healthcare providers are searching for answers, all the while maintaining strength for those they are charged with caring for.

Wednesday:

  • Another funeral just up the road for little Chase Kowalski.
  • Clients whose loved ones are first responders: how do they weather their own grief and still support their spouses who were there in those first ungodly moments?
  • Parents whose kids are the same age as the lost teachers or the small children, so many reeling with guilt that they are so thankful for the fact that it’s not their kids who were harmed.
  • Reports of people being called 24/7 by news agencies, being stopped in the supermarket, unable to park to get counseling because of all the news vehicles in town, chasing reporters out of their yards…

And then there’s me, reminding everyone that it’s not schools which are unsafe, it’s our choices.

I keep coming back to 2 hopes, and fear.

I hope that every private citizen that owns a weapon of war will relinquish it. In my take, if that weapon were not available, this event could not have happened. My fear is that the exact opposite will happen, nothing.

My second hope – challenge – is for every single home to remove all violent video games and pledge to never, ever, as long as they live let another one enter their homes ever again. I fear that our appetite for violence has tipped our moral scales and that the forces that be are letting us know. We must set a higher bar. My fear is that nothing will change.

Monday night when I returned home after such a difficult day, we sat down to watch some innocuous TV, “House Hunters”. And then – ads. The first ad was for Sears – advertising video games for Christmas. Yes, the games were Call of Duty and Assassin-something. I almost gagged. Then the next ad – for a new mobster movie. We always mute all ads but it didn’t matter. It was just shot after shot of guns and bullets and violence. I couldn’t breathe.

Do advertisers have such callous, bloodless hearts that they couldn’t predict that these might not be appropriate given recent events?

I am exhausted and heartsick.

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Weathering an Unspeakable Tragedy

In the wake of the Newtown tragedy, the killings in the elementary school of Sandy Hook, CT, I keep finding myself at a loss for words. I am numb, horrified, angered beyond belief, indignant, sad to a deep depth, and confused – all in an instant.

Even as a trained therapist, some things take time to take shape and to find footing. Of course, all of the therapists of MFT3, and in your community, are available for supporting those who desire it. I can’t imagine how the families directly affected are handling the new truth of their lives. I imagine the shock may last quite a long time.

Grief is a necessary process for all of us, even such an enormous and unfathomable grief. To try and deny the feelings only prolongs and complicates the process. Please, seek support, wherever you choose, to make the grief more manageable.

CTAMFT has posted a wonderful list of guidelines for steps into and through this crisis. The New York Times also has a wonderful resource here.

Remember that intrinsically our world is far more good than bad, yet bad still happens. My thoughts and prayers go out to all affected. Peace to one and all.

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