I know, I know, who wants to think about therapy when it’s beautiful outside and there are so many other fun things to do like chase fireflies and play in sprinklers and read a book in a hammock? But relationship and emotional issues don’t go away just because the temperature reaches 80-degrees. Sometimes the unstructured time can add to the problems and discord, and that’s where summertime therapy comes in.

So the kids are at home more now, your husband has “golf with the boss”, your neighbor’s windows are open and you can hear little Johnny’s drum set even more clearly, and let’s not forget the extra alcohol consumption that the hot weather seems to invite.

Coming in for sessions in the summer may seem like a drag at first but in reality it’s a great time for therapy. First, there are usually more slots open in a clinician’s roster due to all of the above reasons so getting a time you want is probably easier. Second, having a weekly appointment can help to keep some semblance of a routine which may be helpful if not downright necessary for kids (or adults) who function better with a steady, predictable routine. Sometimes summer can be a time to dread rather than celebrate for families with this issue. Third, having your budding teen learn about safe dating practices is always a great idea but now with more free time on their hands and skimpier clothing, this education may be a lifesaver. And finally, setting aside a block of time like “the summer” to focus on building new interactional skills, practicing intimacy building tools, resolving old haunting memories, really slow down and focus on yourself – summertime therapy can be a gift for a lifetime of better functioning.

So come on in and enjoy the air conditioning, the fireflies and s’mores will be there later.

Please join us in welcoming our newest associate, Erica M. Cannata, LADC, MFT, CCDP-D, to Marriage & Family Therapy of Trumbull (MFT3).

Erica joins both Katherine Allen, M.A., LMFT and Laura Petiford, M.A., LMFT at the Trumbull location. Erica, a seasoned expert in addiction disorders and adolescent issues, is a Licensed Addiction Counselor and Certified Co-Occurring Disorders Professional Diplomate in the state of Connecticut. Erica will begin taking new clients starting June 28, 2010.

At MFT3 we understand that life can come at you fast, and that’s why we’re here to help. MFT3 can be found online at http://www.mft3.com. Visit our blog at http://blog.mft3.com or join the Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/mft3page.

Our office location is at 2 Corporate Drive, Suite 211, Trumbull CT 06611. Phone: 203-416-6008. E-mail: info@mft3.com.

Wishing one and all balance and peace.

The New York Times Magazine had an interesting article this past weekend titled “Is Marriage Good for Your Health?” and as many can surmise, yes, marriage does have many positive side effects. If you have recently looked into purchasing health or life insurance, being married has a major impact on the rate that gets quoted (i.e: married rates are lower than single ones). This article was particularly interesting in how it goes a bit further and looks at the effect of a bad marriage, too.

I was at the CTAMFT Annual Conference on April 9 and the keynote speaker was Dr. Sue Johnson, the author of “Hold Me Tight” and the creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy in 1985. My insufficient summary of her field of study is that of adult attachment, especially after trauma.

During her presentation she referred to her own research study, of which a coincidentally similar research study is referred to in the Times article:

Researchers have also started to examine the salutary health effects of social relationships, including those of a good marriage. In one recent study, James A. Coan, an assistant professor of psychology and a neuroscientist at the University of Virginia, recruited 16 women who scored relatively high on a questionnaire assessing marital happiness. He placed each woman in three different situations while monitoring her brain with an f.M.R.I. machine, which offers a way to observe the brain’s response to almost any kind of emotional stimulation. In one situation, to simulate stress, he subjected the woman to a mild electric shock. In a second, the shock was administered, but the woman held the hand of a stranger; in a third, the hand of her husband.

Both instances of hand-holding reduced the neural activity in areas of the woman’s brain associated with stress. But when the woman was holding her husband’s hand, the effect was even greater, and it was particularly pronounced in women who had the highest marital-happiness scores. Holding a husband’s hand during the electric shock resulted in a calming of the brain regions associated with pain similar to the effect brought about by use of a pain-relieving drug.

What the article does not mention is the fourth effect – the one when the woman holds the hand of an abusive husband. Dr. Johnson’s research illustrates that when the woman holds the hand of an abusive husband, the shock is felt as extreme, the neural response is high and even a placebo calming effect of hand-holding is entirely absent.

So then how do we redefine the “marriage effect” in a more realistic light? So many couples that seek therapy are under the impression that staying together “for the sake of the kids” is the best choice, “Our parents did it and so should we”. Is it best to change the relationship first, to do the hard work of therapy, before considering leaving a marriage? Yes, absolutely. An in-tact healthy family is still the best model for successful growth, health and stability for all members. But abuse and violence are very different situations and must be handled differently as well.

The new research highlights this exact experience. Toxic environments; from the water and food we consume to the office to the home and the relationships within them, have real and lasting effects on our brains and well being in every way. Discord cannot be ignored.

Things aren’t always what they appear to be from the outside, just look at the MRIs.

Take A&E’s Intervention. An amazing show, filled with the real pain and trials that addiction submits to everyone in the system. There is no such thing as an addict in a vacuum, loved ones and the community are ultimately involved and harmed in the cycle of addiction no matter how you look at it.

They have introduced some new episode formats, like the one highlighted in the pic here, that are in-depth looks at specific types of drug classes and their impact. This particular one highlights Huffing, something that astoundingly far too many parents are not educated about or aware of. This was a powerful episode featuring not only success stories but some tragic endings as well.

I rate Intervention with 5-stars as far as its content, therapeutic viability and integrity and the educational information that is shared.

Next there is the new A&E show called Hoarders. Also touted as a therapeutic type intervention show focusing on the very real and shame-surrounded illness of hoarding. I find the show to be a bit less sound in its strength regarding therapeutic education and demonstration and a touch too voyeuristic as far as the many repeated scenes of piles of trash and belongings can be.

Although I praise A&E for their bravery in shedding light on this very real and very serious illness, I only would give it 3.5-stars due to the mild gawk-fest that it can sometimes feel like and the fact that some of the “experts” are nothing more than Professional Organizers. I would like to see more credentialed therapists and fewer Got Junk? garbage truck shots.

I would also rate the show higher if at the end, instead of posting a message along the lines of, “with the aftercare funds provided, person X plans to attend therapy”, if it stated that they are currently working in therapy. As a trained addiction professional, I see “funds provided” as a pitfall for the afflicted to go out and replenish some of the regretted losses. The lure of the old way, the pull of the “familiar bad” is more powerful than any of us truly admits.

And finally, the tragedy of what our definition of reality TV and its possibilities has fallen to, shows like The Biggest Loser and Jersey Shore. I cannot admit to having watched more than two episodes of The Biggest Loser and only one of Jersey Shore, but that was all I needed to be saddened to the core.

NBC’s The Biggest Loser empire is obviously a huge money making success, but again therapeutically, I believe it has taken far too long for this show to become serious about the very real illness of overeating, an illness that is exactly the same in its severity and life threatening potentiality as anorexia or bulimia. But our society still views individuals with this disorder as just being weak or lacking in self control, being lazy or sloppy or stupid (none of which are true). Ask any severely overweight person if they wouldn’t give anything to be healthy and the answer is a universal yes.

One particular episode I recall had the contestants battling over a “challenge”, and the challenge consisted of a huge banquet table piled high with all of their self-admitted favorite foods, their achilles heels, and the contestants were filmed struggling between their desire to win, their knowledge of being filmed, over the desire for their drug. Yes – drug.

Imagine if A&E’s Intervention used this same gimmick, and had an alcoholic presented with a table overflowing with their favorite drink, or a cocaine addict presented with a table covered in piles of glistening white flakes. The outrage would be epic, akin to torture and abuse, if not actually illegal then outright abysmally immoral.

In real life, real studies have been done somewhat along these very lines and in all cases when a severe addict was presented with the choice between $10,000 in cash or immediate access to the drug, invariably they chose the drug every time. Remember that a major tenant of addiction is immediacy.

I understand, by NBC’s trailers, that the show is now touting itself as “the only show on TV that is focused on saving lives”. While I admire this change of characterization, please refer to the above shows first and possibly rephrase that representation.

Just when you think the realm of reality TV has sunk to its lowest, along comes MTV’s Jersey Shore. The show is just actors playing out a ridiculous and insulting stereotype, there’s nothing “reality” based about it at all. Just to state the obvious, it has no therapeutic content or claims as well. There was the incident, though, where “Snooki” was punched in the face by a man in a bar, I could create an educational post about domestic violence out of this. Seriously.

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Needless to say, neither of the final 2 shows even qualify for my rating scale, it doesn’t go that low. As a person committed to helping real people make lasting change to better their lives, I cannot stand by quietly with public displays like these.

Let me know your thoughts.